You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Swine flu. Run for my life!
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
