Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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