can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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