you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
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