Fine. I'll sleep in my office
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
organizing the empties. That sober.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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