That's when you crack a 10am beer
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
