Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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