it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
My bed smells like the plague
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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