How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize