In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
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well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
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Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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