Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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