I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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