Swine flu is the new snow day.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
