guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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