so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
