Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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