I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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