we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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