just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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