You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize