just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
