Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize