it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
