I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
PANTIES FOUND
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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