I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
