is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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