You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
