the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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