I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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