I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
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He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize