I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(