he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
not ubering you a puppy
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD