my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
