normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
