you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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