He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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