Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He felt like a one man threesome
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
