is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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