I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
