You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
