party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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