No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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