He asked to "fluff my boner.."
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
