I cockslap morals
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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