think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
40s are totally the cure
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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