dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
