There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize