Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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