I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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