dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
