I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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