between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
