i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize