Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
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I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
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You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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