He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches