That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
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if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
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At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.