just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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