New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm like, not good at living.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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