We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
The cops high fived after they tackled you
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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